Fangbangen'

This may come as a surprise to my readers, but I watch a lot of vampire movies.  Every genre has its icons, and the vampire film is no exception.  Medieval/fantasy movies have swords, science-fiction flicks have spaceships, and Jersey Shore has retards.  Vampires have fangs.  Which is one of the (many) reasons I hate Twilight - NO FANGS!!!

As an iconic part of vampire physiology, I think it’s time that these iniquitous incisors  got the credit they deserve.  Of course, these are all my opinions, but - really! - what other Necromancer's opinion will you trust?

Without further ado, here are the Top Five On-screen Vamp Fangs.

#5 FOREVER KNIGHT
I love the character of LaCroix.  He was such a snide, cynical bastage, and that was only half his charm.  


Lucien LaCroix

#4 LOST BOYS

Lost Boys

Ahhhh….the 80’s.  While it wasn’t filled with the life-altering (and accessible) technologies of the 21^st century, it was – I dare say – the golden age of American culture.   

#3 INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

The fang design for the IWTV dentures was simple, elegant, and predatory. 

Maverick

#2 TRUE BLOOD
I love the look the fangs of True Blood have.  To the contemporary mind, they’re nearly the platonic ideal of vampire-fang-ness. The only thing that kept them from getting numero uno was that little “click” noise.  It’s like the foley artist just recorded the sound of a mouse button being pressed and said, “Yeah, that’s totally what a vampire fang would sound like!  Totally!”

Ooooh....Sookeh'

#1 THIRTY DAYS OF NIGHT
This is what vampire fangs should look like; the vicious maw of an undead nocturnal marauder, like a cross between a shark and a rabid dog.  They’re so groovy, they make up for all the vampires sounding like zerglings. 


Is this the nerdy kid from the Wonder Years?