Santa, I want a real monster for Christmas!

"Did you know the character of Dracula was based on a real guy named Dracula?"

"No foolen?  Really?"

"Yeah, his name was Vlad Dracula or Vlad Tepes, which meant 'impaler.'  He was  blah blah blah blah blah," etc ad nauseum. 

I'm sooo sick of hearing about Vlad Tepes as the "real life inspiration for Dracula."  Yeah, Stoker got the name from him, but that's about it.   In Romania, he's regarded as a national hero.  It's been a while since I did my 'serious' research, so bear with me. 

Vlad Tepes, hero of Romania

Wallachia (a part of Romania at the time) was having its strings pulled by a few different folks. European powers, the Ottomans, and corrupt Wallachian officials.  When Vlad Tepes took the Wallachian throne, he was supposed to be a puppet ruler for the sultan of the Ottomans.  Instead, he opted to go, "Hellz no.  Dat be some whacked shite." Or something.  He told the sultan where to go, then rounded up all the corrupt bureaucrats in the Wallachian nobility. Princey-boy, then, administered some very splintery proctology exams.  His reign was short, but the people of Romania still look to him as the Prince that stood up to the forces that oppressed their homeland. 

Now, put yourself in a present day Romanian's shoes.  How would you feel if someone based a blood sucking monster on George Washington?  After all, he was the last good president we had.  Maybe you're not American (lucky you).  Maybe you're a Brit:  how would you feel if some doofus made Queen Victoria into a fanged zombie?  Or Margaret Thatcher?     You might be a little ticked off. 

Slightly off-topic:  Dick Cheney probably is a vampire. 

If you're going to write a monster based on a historical figure, make it someone that you want to loathe.  Someone you can…(wait for it)...SINK YOUR TEETH INTO TOO!  [oh, I kill me]. I came across this sick puppy from 15th century France, that - surprisingly - not too many writers have made use of.

Gilles de Rais.  Allegedly, this man was a loon.  A comrade-in-arms to Joan of Arc (yep, Milla Jovovich), he went on to kill (and other nasty stuff) a bunch of peasant kids, perform satanic rituals, and promote overall douchebaggery.  A real monster!  Now, add a coffin and some fangs, presto! Awesome (read:  pure evil) vampire! 

Granted, there are some conspiracies floating around about what 'really happened,' kind of like with the Knights Templar (another group I'm sick of hearing about), but as long as you throw in a lovely "allegedly" in front of the statement, you're safe with saying that Gilles de Rais was a satanic-obsessed pedophile serial killer who liked to diddle himself with mutilated youngling parts.  .

I like monsters you cannot empathize with.